


The Misadventures of Iwaizumi Hajime for Oikawa Tooru

by kunimi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Gen, M/M, attempt at fluff, birthday fic, i tried.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi/pseuds/kunimi
Summary: It's Oikawa's birthday and Iwaizumi goes to hell and back to make him a gift.





	The Misadventures of Iwaizumi Hajime for Oikawa Tooru

**Author's Note:**

> #oikawachallenge2018  
> part two?  
>  ~~please let me burn this~~

Tooru is having the _worst_ day of his life.

He's not even exaggerating. Fine, he _might_ be a little dramatic right now, but it's all for a good reason.

Now, listen here. He's Oikawa Tooru, right? Handsome, good-looking, charming, just a _delight_ to be friends with, or even acquaintances. So _why_ , pray tell, did _none_ of his _friends_ remember that it was his birthday today?! Even stranger, his family hasn't called him either. He doesn't expect them to wish him happy birthday at exactly midnight, but it was currently 3 PM and yet not a peep from his friends. No one!

Not even Yachi who remembered everyone’s birthdays. Not even his _childhood friend_ (see also: boyfriend) who was currently nowhere to be seen. His parents didn’t even pick up the phone when he had called. When Tooru says no one, he _means_ no one.

And Tooru is just _miserable_ and offended.

“I’m _extremely_ offended, Yamaka-chan!” Tooru groans as he puts his chin on the table, sulking. He straightens up immediately, beaming when a couple of girls pass by, telling him ‘happy birthday, Oikawa-san!’ and giggling a bit. He slumps back down once they’ve passed.

Yamaka keeps sipping her juice. “That was really terrible. You look miserable.”

Tooru gasps, shoots up once again. “How dare you say such a thing about me, Yamaka-chan! I’ll have you know I am looking _absolutely_ perfect just as usual!”

“Perfectly _annoying_ as usual,” a dry voice cuts in. Yamaka waves at her boyfriend as he sits down next to her with his tray of food. Tooru scowls. Daishou mirrors his look. “Did we have to eat with this brat? I’ve heard enough of his whining this morning in class.”

“You could always leave,” Tooru says with a sickeningly sweet smile on his face. “I’ll have you know Yamaka-chan and I were perfectly fine without your presence.”

“Actually, I prefer Suguru over you,” Yamaka pipes up. Tooru’s jaw drops.

Daishou sniggers as he rests his cheek on his palm. “Better luck next time, you playboy.”

Tooru gets up with a huff. “ _Fine_. I’ll just find people who actually _appreciate_ my existence.” He pointedly ignores Daishou when he coughs and says _no one_. “See you nerds next time~”

Yamaka grins at him. “Bye bye, Oikawa-kun, happy birthday as well!”

“Good riddance,” Daishou mutters under his breath, “This better be enough for Iwaizu—” he’s cut off by his girlfriend elbowing him, then sending him a cryptic look which Tooru _nicely_ ignores. Not his business. Besides, he likes the guy well enough to not wish him to die too soon at the hands of Yamaka. And Yamaka’s far too good for this world to be jailed so soon.

Daishou clenches his teeth. “Happy fucking birthday, you asshole.”

“I _knew_ you loved me, Daishou-chan!”

“Fuck _outta_ here, you son of a—”

Daishou never got to finish his sentence as Yamaka hits him again. Meanwhile, Tooru leaves the cafeteria with a skip in his step, definitely feeling a little happier than he had in the morning. Daishou _does_ have his good moments sometimes. Just barely.

Unfortunately, it's not as if his good mood lasted long anyways.

The second he steps inside his apartment (which he shares with Iwaizumi, by the way. He’s still absent too, the jerk), Tooru’s phone chimes with a new message. His face twists into a grimace as soon as he checks the notification. It’s from a group chat with none other than his three _best_ friends, all three who have not given him any birthday wishes.

Tooru would’ve ignored the message, if he hadn’t caught a glimpse of his screen. Fuming, he locks the door behind him before opening the chat.

 **Little sucka:** Alright makki are you tryna pick a fight with me (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

 **Secci Makki:** me? never. why would you ever suggest such a thing. im hurt

 **Little sucka:** _image.png_

 **Little sucka:** Want to enlighten me about what this is then???? (＃｀д´)ﾉ

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** not like u cant change that urself tho, oksaaw

 **Little sucka:** !!! I know!!! But you guys are mean (o･`з･´o)

 **Little sucka:** 8 mean you guys didn't even remember what day it is today ಥ_ಥ

 **Secci Makki:** today?

 **Secci Makki:** oh, isnt it like

 **Secci Makki:** a birthday?

 **Little sucka:** YEAH!!! (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** ahhhh

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** the birth of Alexander the Great

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** didnt know u cared about that, ikaqa

 **Little sucka:** I KNOW YOURE SPELLING MY NAME WRONG ON PURPOSE ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

 **Secci Makki:** lol captain pls

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** are those eyes or cheeks

 **Little sucka:** IF YOURE ALL GONNA BE LIKE THIS IM LEAVING BYE ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ !!!!

With a huff, Tooru throws his phone away on the couch, drops onto the seat and sulks. Of course, he knows he's being immature, but he's allowed to do whatever he wants on his birthday, right?

No. Tooru doesn't care anyways.

He gets up just a few moments later, ignoring his phone which was blowing up with all the messages Makki and Mattsun were sending him (he doesn't want to bother with them. Or them bothering him). Instead, he heads to his room, determined to get some work done to distract himself, but he stops at the sight of an unfamiliar object on his desk.

He squints as he approaches it, picks up the USB key, wonders if Iwaizumi left his stuff accidentally in Tooru’s room again, but then scowls as he sees the message scribbled on it: _call matsuhana_.

Groaning, Tooru reluctantly sits down in front of his computer, quickly turning it on and opening the group chat. Instead of messaging them first, he plugs in the key, immediately opening the files, then suppresses a frustrated cry when he realizes the only folder in there is locked with a password.

No wonder he had to call them, then.

Thus, with a sigh, Tooru begrudgingly reopens the group chat tab in his browser, scrolling past the recent spam. Obviously, he's curious about the content of the flash drive, but first, he has other more pressing matters to attend to.

_You set your nickname to Oikawa the Great._

**Oikawa the Great:** alright so what’s this thing ಠ_ಠ

 **Secci Makki:** jesus, you suck at nicknames, who let you do this

 **Daddy Eyebrow:** Iwaizumi gave eeryone admin power when he made rhis group si eeryine can

 **Secci Makki:** that was a rhetorical question, but yas mattsun, talk brains to me

 **Oikawa the Great:** wtf is wrong with you two ( ಠ д ಠ)

 **Oikawa the Great:** just tell me (#｀3´)

They initiate a video call instead. When Tooru answers it, only the top of his head is visible to Makki and Mattsun, but his ongoing sigh is a telltale sign of his current mood. Makki snickers.

So, the poor guy’s despairing.

“You’re both enjoying my suffering too much,” Tooru grumbles as he raises his head to look at his friends, not a hair out of place, as usual.

Mattsun grins, puts his hand to his chest. “Me? I wouldn’t dare. What about you, Hanamaki?”

Makki leans on his desk, plasters the same shit eating grin as the other boy. “Obviously, neither would I. We _do_ love you, captain~”

“Sure you do,” Tooru mutters just as a curl of hair falls onto his face. He immediately  flicks it away. “ _Sure_ you do.”

Makki rolls his eyes, audibly hits his table a couple of times. “Alright, stop being petty with us, but it's nice to see you’re still pretty much the same as usual.” Tooru perks up at the second part of the sentence.

“You think I’m pretty?”

Makki ignores him. “Now then, about that key—wait, Issei, don’t fucking leave me!” he suddenly exclaims, stretching his arm out to the camera to the point that Tooru could only see his palm.

Mattsun only flashed him a ‘V’ sign. “You got this,” he says before leaving the room.

Makki throws his arms in the air in surrender. “ _Fine_. Alright then, let me see your screen, Oikawa and I’ll tell you the password because I am _certain_ you tried to figure out what this was all about before calling us.”

“No, I didn’t,” Tooru denies, knowing that his friend won't believe him. He isn't trying to make Makki believe him anyways.

Tooru follows the instructions given to him, opens the folder (“The password’s ‘shiratorizawa,’” Makki says, completely serious. Tooru grits his teeth as he types it in. It’s incorrect. He glares at Makki who lets out a snicker. “It's seijoh.”) only to find a video file named ‘Happy Birthday Captain.’

He stares at it long enough that Mattsun has time to come back to the video chat, and Makki can only shrug when Mattsun asks to be filled in.

Finally, Tooru speaks up. “I thought you guys forgot about my birthday.”

“How low is your image  of us?” Makki asks drily as he leans back on his chair. “Nevermind that, just click on the video and watch it already. Matsukawa and I spent a _lot_ of time editing that.”

“Or not at all,” Mattsun laughs. Tooru gives them both a quizzical look but decides to see for himself.

He opens the video.

He pauses it, not even three seconds in, cringing at the music that's being used, a song he used to blast throughout the whole gym on repeat back when they were all Seijoh students. Both Makki and Mattsun burst out laughing at his reaction and it ends up contagious enough that Tooru cracks a smile. “You guys _suck_.”

“We know,” they answer at the same time, wearing that shit eating grin that makes Tooru narrow his eyes suspiciously. They definitely had something worse up their sleeves.

Makki waves him off. “Stop staring at us and watch the video instead, though I can't really blame you for wanting to look at this beauty all day—”

“Oh, shut up, and stop stealing my lines, Makki,” Tooru bites back, grinning. He resumes the video

` **The Misadventures of Iwaizumi Hajime for Oikawa Tooru** `

“You fucked up that part, ‘Hiro,” Mattsun hisses and Makki only shrugs as if saying _what can I do about it now?_ He can't do anything about it.

Tooru keeps watching.

` **Part 1: Technologically disabled Iwaizumi** `

`Only the ground can be seen. Even so, the view is unstable and if one looked closely, they would be able to spot the worn out sneakers and some grass on the side. It's obvious someone is fiddling with the camera. Terribly obvious that they aren't technologically talented and extremely obvious that two other people are enjoying his misery.`

`Iwaizumi Hajime [ **IH** ] (holding the camera): You guys are absolute shitholes.`

`Matsukawa Issei [ **MI** ]: You might want to watch your language there, vice-captain, the camera’s recording`

`**IH:** Oh shit.`

`**MI:** What did I just tell you?`

`Hanamaki Takahiro [ **HT** ]: You know you're pointing the camera downwards, right?`

`**IH:** What?`

`A face slides into view and there's just barely a hint of green before a clear blue sky fills up the screen. Then the sky isn't so clear anymore as a couple of clouds float into view.`

`**HT:** At least point it towards someone’s face, it doesn't change anything if you aim it at the sky or at the ground, vice-cap.`

`**IH:** Why do you guys keep calling me that, we graduated from high school last year.`

`**HT:** Old habits break hard.`

`**MI:** Isn't it old habits die hard—wait are you aiming the camera at my crotch?`

` [ _ **Mattsun:** it was definitely aiming at my crotch.]_`

Tooru pauses the video in disbelief. “What is _happening_ there? I thought this was my birthday present. How come there's no mention of my blessed presence yet?”

“Of course you have to say it like that,” Makki mutters, barely visible in the frame as he lazes about on his bed. “The video was made for you, stop complaining.”

“But it doesn't say anything about how much of a delight I am. Instead, there’s Mattsun’s crotch.”

“Resume the video, it gets better,” Mattsun urges him. Tooru narrows his eyes suspiciously. He doesn’t trust his friend’s words, but there's nothing else he can do but resume the video

`**IH:** Sorry, Matsukawa, hold up I think I got this—`

`The camera is currently held with surprising stability, still fixed onto Matsukawa’s crotch. Then, the image is suddenly enlarged.`

“Oh my god,” Tooru says. Makki bursts out laughing until he's practically breathless, nearly choking on his own breath. Mattsun has to leave his room as he tries to cover his own amusement with loud coughs.

`**HT** (laughing) **:** You just _zoomed_ into his—Gods, Oikawa is going to _love this!_`

“No I’m not.”

`**IH:** No he’s not. I think I got the hang of this thing. Cut this part off, though. `

`[ _ **Makki:** we didn't cut this part off, lmao_]`

`Finally, the camera slides away from Matsukawa’s crotch and settles on his face. As the view slowly zooms out, another figure appears. Next to Matsukawa stands Hanamaki with an impressed look on his face. He lets out a short whistling sound.`

`**HT:** Nice~ You managed to get our faces in the shot. Does that make Issei and I the firsts in the video?`

`**IH:** Uh. Yes. Since I’m technologically challenged, can you guys put together everything after I'm done getting everyone’s part? And you won't need to find Oikawa a present.`

`**MI:** Tempting, a heartfelt present without spending money. We’re in.`

`Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s matching grins are the last things seen on screen. For a split second, a static screen appears, followed by a loud clap. There's a new scene shown, but it's obvious that it's still the same place as earlier and that not much time has passed since the first part of the video.`

`**MI:** So, to our dearest captain, happy birthday!`

`**HT:** Matsukawa and I will be putting lots of efforts into this video so you better appreciate it.`

`**IH** (after a minute of silence) **:** That’s all you have to say? Really?`

`**MI:** Yep.`

`The camera is lowered, once again, and Iwaizumi’s old sneakers fill the screen. When it's raised back, Iwaizumi has moved from the outdoors to inside a classroom. Two unhappy boys sit side by side, looking like they want to be anywhere but in the classroom. At the third desk, at the boys’ right, a girl sits there, leaning on her elbow and waving at the camera with a smile.`

`Kuroo Tetsurou [ **KT** ] **:** I would have preferred not to have to do this while next to snake boy, but since you asked _nicely_ , Iwaizumi, I'll cooperate.`

`Daishou Suguru [ **DS** ] **:** Don’t go stealing my lines now, bastard.`

`**KT:** Shut up, you snake. So, happy birthday, Oikawa. We’ve only met a few months and known each other that same amount of time, but you're definitely one of a kind and a great friend. Since Iwaizumi’s doing this video for you this year, you're not getting a present until next year so I hope our friendship manages to get to that point.`

`**DS:** Are you having a relationship with him? ‘Cause that's what it sounds like.`

`**KT:** What? No! As attractive as he may be, I would not want to date his high maintenance ass. Besides, isn't he dating Iwaizumi?`

`**IH:** Wait, he is?`

“Wait, I am?” Tooru blinks in confusion. Makki’s jaw drops. Mattsun only looks up at his ceiling in defeat.

“Leave it to these two to forget that they’ve been dating since forever.”

“Since _when_?” Tooru almost shrieks, “I don’t remember...” he trails off, then shuts up. He remembers now.

Makki nods wisely. “When the team was having a moment and you guys took that opportunity to confess your _undying_ love to each other. Yes, that time.”

`Yamaka Mika [ **YM** ] **:** Well... That aside, happy birthday, Oikawa-kun! Iwaizumi-kun just explained to us now what he intended for Suguru and I to do on the day of your birthday, so I hope you’ll forgive us for keeping this from you! It’ll certainly liven up your day, I’m sure!`

`[ _ **Makki:** ‘certainly’ and ‘sure’ in one sentence, that's something rofl. She’s cute. Not my type, though._]`

`**DS:** Happy birthday, you weirdo.`

`**YM** (hits **DS** ) **:** Can't you say anything more and be nice to him?`

`**DS:** No.`

`**IH:** It’s okay, I’ve been friends with this brat for over ten years and sometimes, words fail me too when I witness his stupidity.`

`All three turn to look at him.`

`**YM:** Is... it okay for you to say that in a birthday video dedicated to him?`

`**IH:** Oh. Oh shit.`

`**KT:** Language, Iwa-chan~`

`**IH:** Don’t call me that. Hanamaki and Matsukawa can cut the bad parts off later.`

`[ _ **Mattsun:** we didn’t. Let the boyfriend dig his own grave._ ]`

`**DS:** Right. So we’ll be leaving first then, while you head over to... Wherever the other people you need to find are.`

`**IH** : If I leave now, I’ll probably make it just before Seijoh finishes their practice so I can get all our underclassmen’s birthday wishes and it’ll give enough time for the troublesome two to put the videos together—`

`There’s a sudden loud noise behind the camera, causing all three of Oikawa’s classmates to jump. Iwaizumi nearly drops the camera. Fortunately, he doesn’t, but the lens are dangerously close to the ground and there’s a little sway, which means that it’s only being held by the strap.`

`Bokuto Koutarou [ **BK** ] **:** Hey, heY, HEY! What’s happening here? A secret meeting without me?`

`**IH:** ... Kuroo? Could you?`

`**KT:** Say no more. I got your back.`

`Iwaizumi somehow manages to get the camera back into his hand and turns it towards Kuroo and Bokuto who seem a bit too serious for the current situation. He nods solemnly at Kuroo and then turns to face the camera with a grave expression on his face.`

`**BK:** I see. I didn’t know this was such an important situation I just barged in.`

`The camera falls slightly to the left.`

`**IH:** What did you tell him?`

`**KT** (shrugging) **:** Oh, nothing too bad. He just thinks this is Oikawa’s last birthday now.`

`**IH:** _What?_ Wait—Let go of the camera!`

`**BK** (holding the camera) **:** Live, Oikawa! I haven’t spiked enough of your sets yet and they’re very easy to hit, even if Akaashi’s sets are better, but yours are good too! We have to take over the world before you die.`

`Bokuto turns to look at Kuroo.`

` **BK:** Do you think we could do that in twenty days? `

“Bokuto-chan is dangerous,” Tooru points out, giggling a bit. He’d become fast friends with Bokuto, despite his numerous mood swings over the most irrelevant things (literally irrelevant. Who cares that the bird didn’t chirp back at his hoot?). “As long Iwa-chan and Aka-chan agree to give us a hand, we could conquer the world. It’d be nice to have Kuro-chan and Kozume-chan on our side too.”

“And what about us, captain?” Makki lets out an amused huff. “Are we just distant uncles to you?”

Tooru pauses the video, then pretends to think about it. “Yes,” he admits.

“Woe is me,” Mattsun exclaims as he falls dramatically on his chair before crashing to the ground. Both Makki and Tooru crack up at his fall, wheezing uncontrollably as Mattsun picks himself up, deadpan eyes staring at them. “No ‘oh no, are you okay?’ I see how it is, in this house.”

Tooru grins mischievously. “In this house, we love and appreciate Iwaizumi Hajime. That’s all.”

“Seconded,” Makki calls out.

Mattsun rolls his eyes as Tooru clicks on ’play.’ “Well, I suppose that’s true to a certain extent.”

` **Part 2: Back to the Castle (and Iwaizumi needs to learn how to technology)** `

“Has Iwa-chan seen this video yet?”

“He’ll beat us up when he does.”

“I’ll film the (one-sided) fight for you two.”

“Thanks captain. We heard that though, captain.”

“I know.”

`The first thing shown on screen are the doors to their former high school’s gym. (It fills them with some type of dread, remembering the hellish practices they’ve done in there.) Iwaizumi’s tanned arm is visible as he extends it to push the door open, but there wasn’t any need for that.`

`The doors open with a loud clatter and Iwaizumi jumps back at the sound. Behind the newcomer, there’s the familiar sounds of shoes squeaking on the floor and balls hitting the ground (maybe someone’s face too). The other person blinks, slowly lowers his arms from the opened doors.`

`Kyoutani Kentarou [ **KK** ] **:** Iwaizumi-senpai?`

`**IH:** ‘sup.`

`There’s screaming behind Kyoutani. There’s a loud thud, and more yells. Someone probably fainted. Many people hurry towards him, and a lone black and orange can easily be spotted among the many white and teal.`

` Kageyama Tobio [ **KaT** ] **:** Iwaizumi-senpai, hello!`

Tooru immediately pauses the video, opens his browser and _grimaces_. “ _Tobio-chan_? You included _Tobio-chan_ in a video dedicated to _me_?”

Makki flops back onto his bed. “We can’t just cut him off, else it would be super awkward to watch.”

“I don’t care! It’s _Tobio-chan_!”

“Don’t worry, I predicted this,” Mattsun flashes them a thumbs up. Tooru pouts and reluctantly goes back to the video.

`The next second, Kageyama’s face is pixelated, censored from the viewers. Three other boys appear in between Kageyama and Kyoutani before they all fall to the ground, as evidenced by their pained groans. The camera, meanwhile, catches view of a slightly purple sky.`

`**IH:** I would’ve called ahead if I knew this was going to happen.`

`Kindaichi Yuutarou [ **KY** ] **:** A-are you okay, senpai?`

`Kunimi Akira [ **KA** ] **:** Should’ve thought about the consequences before running in between Kyoutani-senpai and Kageyama. In fact, our captain should’ve thought about that and held his teammates back, hm?`

`Yahaba Shigeru [ **YS** ] (flustered) **:** Shut up! You keep skipping practices at any chances you get, how would you know that?`

`**KA:** Kindaichi.`

`Yahaba’s jaw drops. He looks at a clueless Kindaichi, mouthing something that can probably be read as ‘traitor.’`

`**KY:** Also, the camera... Is it okay?`

`**IH:** Oh shit.`

`The scene is cut right there, inelegantly, without any other prior explanation. Then, the second years (now third years) are sitting on a bench outside the gym, Watari in the middle happily swinging his legs and ignorant of the tension between his two other brooding teammates.`

`Watari Shinji [ **WS** ] **:** For captain, you say? This is why Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san are my OTP. Also, are you sure your phone’s going to last enough time to get our birthday messages on time?`

`**IH:** OTP—I’m not going to question that. And no. So Yahaba and Kyoutani, whatever’s up between you two, fix it later. I’ll come back another day to make sure it’s all solved too.`

`**YS:** What do you mean, Iwaizumi-san, there’s absolutely nothing going on here, we’re all peachy and fine, right? _Right?_`

`**WS:** Grunt for yes.`

`Kyoutani grunted.`

`**WS:** So, to Oikawa-san, happy birthday! I promise I’ll help Yahaba bring the team to nationals! And rein in the second years. And train the first years well. But I hope you have a great day, today, Oikawa-san!`

`**IH:** Thanks for cooperating. So, Kyoutani, Yahaba?`

`**KK:** Happy birthday.`

`And then he dashes off and away to some unknown place (he just left school grounds).`

`**YS:** Wait, Kyoutani! Ugh, he always does that.`

`**IH:** It’s your job to keep him under control, though.`

`**YS:** I know. I try. It’s hard to be just as good as Oikawa-san.`

`**IH:** You don’t need to be just as good as him. I think it’d be better that you _don’t_ aspire to be like him. Better for the team and the coaches. `

“That’s just mean, Iwa-chan, you can’t say those kinds of stuff about your boyfriend,” Tooru yells at his computer screen. “I’m a very respectable senpai!”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Mattsun says, typing on his phone. He throws the device as soon as he hits ‘send,’ and smiles innocently at Tooru. Tooru doesn’t trust that face.

`**YS:** Alright... Well, happy birthday, Oikawa-san. This may sound repetitive but I hope your day has been filled with happiness and joy. Please come visit whenever you can as well, it’d be nice for the team to get together again! `

`**IH:** We will visit you guys sometime soon. Thanks for going along with this.`

`**WS:** A teammate’s birthday is important! Especially our captain’s!`

`**YS:** You didn’t tell me happy birthday until after lunch time after you looked it up online.`

`**WS:** _Ex_ -captains!`

`The screen flashes black for a second before it shows a new image. This time, Kindaichi, Kageyama and Kunimi are seated on the bench, in that order. Kageyama’s face is _still_ censored, and Kindaichi’s fidgeting a little too much while Kunimi simply looks as if he wants to be anywhere but here.`

`**KaT:** Oikawa-san, please teach me how to serve!`

`**IH:** Is that the first thing you tell him? Really?`

`**KaT:** Kunimi told me to do it`

`**IH:** Ah. `

“I’m going to make Kunimi-chan’s life a living hell the next time I see him,” Tooru says, eyes narrowed.

Makki gasps just as Mattsun’s video frame disappears from the call. “Don’t do that to our son! You’ll break Issei’s heart.”

“Can confirm, it’ll be broken,” Mattsun agrees as he pops into Makki’s room. They both high five each other before settling comfortably on Makki’s bed.

“Why didn’t you just do that from the start?”

“Why not?”

`**KA:** Anyways, Iwaizumi-san, have you been filming since the third years’ turn? Because there’s been a ten minutes blank between them and us. I don’t know how that camera of yours lasted almost two days without charge and enough memory space. Is your phone going to be okay. `

`**IH** (to Kindaichi) **:** How do you survive this? Does he bully you? If it’s too much one day, you can always call me.`

`**KA:** I’m right here, Iwaizumi-san.`

`**KY** (flustered) **:** There’s no problem at all! Kunimi’s a great friend, you don’t have to worry!`

`**KaT:** Uh, I have to return to my team soon, so... Happy birthday, Oikawa-san!`

`Just as he’s about to run off, one of his teammates appears, significantly shorter than Kageyama.  He looks between the two Seijoh members, pales slightly at the sight of the powerhouse’s former ace (although Karasuno is also considered a powerhouse) before standing a step behind Kageyama.`

`They have some sort of muted conversation before the short player lights up and turns towards Iwaizumi.`

`Hinata Shouyou [ **HS** ] **:** Happy birthday, Grand King! I like your serves!`

`Both Karasuno players dash off after that, bickering back and forth. Kindaichi and Kunimi watch them leave before the latter turns towards the camera (phone, but that’s irrelevant).`

`**KA:** Happy birthday, Oikawa-san.`

`**KY:** Happy birthday, Oikawa-san! I hope you visit us soon, we miss you!`

`**KA:** Only you, actually.`

`**IH:** That _is_ a very Kindaichi thing.`

` And the video comes to an end as the screen slowly fades to black, with Kindaichi’s sputtering as the last thing the viewers hear.`

“What a precious kouhai,” Tooru croons, smiling fondly as he watches. “Definitely my favourite kouhai.”

“I thought Kageyama was your favourite,” Makki says, then cackles when Tooru lets out a disgusted, incomprehensible sound. Mattsun pops in head in the frame and smirks.

Suddenly, their call comes to an end. Tooru blinks in surprise, wondering if it had ended because of him or because of the troublesome duo. He’s about to investigate it, but the video bar is still running. He squints his eyes at the numbers, skips a couple of seconds ahead.

`There are two babies sleeping together, covered by a familiar comforter with alien patterns. The black-haired baby frowns in his sleep, then his face relaxes a bit as the other one unconsciously grabs his hand. Someone squealed, causing him to start frowning again.`

`Oikawa’s mom [ **OM** ] **:** Baby Tooru’s first birthday and he spends it asleep next to his best friend! `

`Iwaizumi’s mom [ **IM** ] (shaking OM’s arm, causing the camera to sway) **:** Did you see that? Did you see that? Hajime scowled less when Tooru grabbed his hand! `

`There’s obnoxious cooing again behind the camera before the video cuts, then shows another scene. Oikawa’s sitting next to Iwaizumi on the ground, both staring curiously at the camera. They’re holding hand, both quickly losing interest in the camera.`

`**OM:** Tooru~ Tooru, look over here — tell me, how old are you turning today?`

`Oikawa Tooru [ **OT** ] (holds up three fingers) **:** Two!`

`**OM:** Sweetheart, you’re holding up three fingers, not two.`

`Oikawa looks at his hand in disbelief, then looks at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi stares back. He uses his free hand to hold one of Oikawa’s finger down. Oikawa holds up his hand again, the other hand still entwined with Iwaizumi’s.`

`**OT:** Two!`

`The scene ends just as Oikawa’s mom bursts into laughter. Oikawa is three in the next video, as shown by the headband he’s wearing. He’s crouched in the sandbox with Iwaizumi, both harbouring serious expressions on their faces. The camera zooms in on them for a few seconds, then back out.`

`**IM:** They both look so serious there, I don’t even dare disturb them.`

`**OM:** Don’t let that stop you, Tooru _loves_ the attention.`

`**IM** (sounding dubious) **:** Tooru-kun, what age are you turning today?`

`Oikawa turns towards the camera, all traces of seriousness gone. Iwaizumi stabs the sand with his plastic shovel with a little too much force. Oikawa grins.`

`**OT:** THREE!`

`And it goes on like that. When Oikawa is four, he is watching the television and doesn't even spare a glance at the camera. Iwaizumi tries to block his view (in vain) and ends up giving up and sitting next to his best friend.`

`**OM:** Tooru~ how old are you today?`

`His only answer is to hold up four fingers`

“You were an absolute brat at four,” a voice says behind Tooru, startling him. “I spent a whole day watching videos from when we were small to find these and you were at your worst when you were four.”

Tooru looks up, and sees his boyfriend holding an alien plush, looking at him with such fondness that Tooru can't help but blush a bit. That doesn’t mean Iwaizumi’s forgiven for not being here for his birthday until now. Tooru huffs. “Well, so were you.”

Iwaizumi drops the plushie on Tooru’s lap. “Still a brat, actually.”

Tooru squeezes the toy. “If you think this means you’re forgiven for disappearing for half the day, then you are absolutely wrong.”

“I had an exam and a group project to work on, this morning. I’ve told you that.” Tooru still pouts. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, presses a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll make it up to you, tomorrow, alright? We can go back home and watch those videos together next time. You were pretty adorable, despite being a brat.”

Tooru wants to keep sulking, but _lords_ , he’s so soft for his boyfriend, especially when he compliments Tooru (because yes he _is_ pretty). So he smiles and nods and grins at the soft look on Iwaizumi’s face. He’s _so_ in love and he doesn't care at all.

Iwaizumi presses their lips together.

“Happy birthday, Tooru.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> later, iwaizumi also watches the video, and matsuhana get beat up.
> 
> this was supposed to be an apology fic for the angst (but i'm not sorry at all) which ended longer than i expected, but that's fine. i think. ~~hates on it after i'm done now HAHAHA~~
> 
> EDIT: did i get lazy rewriting the ending? yes. 
> 
> lots of gratitudes to [MajesticAnna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticAnna) for helping me edit and beta-ing my fic!! probably would not have finished on time without you :')
> 
> check out the challenge's other entries here: [@oikawachallenge2018](https://oikawachallenge2018.tumblr.com/)
> 
> tumblr | [@kunimint](https://kunimint.tumblr.com/)  
> reblog link | [x](https://kunimint.tumblr.com/post/176356502812/the-misadventures-of-iwaizumi-hajime-for-oikawa)


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